Resilience Against All Odds

"I have since discovered that Hospice is not for death, it is for life."It never ceases to astound us how so many of our patients have such a positive attitude towards life and such amazing resilience, even with time slipping away. Seventy year old Beverley Moore is no exception.

Beverley's first brush with cancer was in 1995 with operable cancer of the bowel. But as we so regularly hear, this wasn't to be the end of Beverley's battle with the Big C. Nine years later she had awful pain in her stomach. Scans showed cancer in the kidney, plus a tumour the size of a grapefruit in her stomach. They removed part of her kidney and she needed chemotherapy for the tumour. She was told that even with the chemotherapy, the tumour would eventually come back.

She recalls: "I went through all the emotional stages with a lot of the 'Why me?' Then I took a step back and thought 'I have two options, either I stay at home and wallow, or I just get on with my life' - thankfully I chose the latter and while the chemotherapy was awful, I had so much support around me."

Her husband supported her every step of the way and her employer and workmates were very supportive. She told me with a smile "I was working full time and my office was amazing - there were days when I would fall asleep at my desk and my workmates would tiptoe around to make sure they didn't wake me."

Sadly Beverley's husband of 43 years died one week before Christmas 2005 and three months later her cancer returned. She had her kidney removed this time, but the tumour in her stomach was deemed non-malignant, so was left. While she was having regular six monthly checkups, in 2009 she felt 'the signs' and a CT showed since her last scan five tumours had formed across her stomach.

"My best option was chemo, but they wanted to add a fifth chemical to the cocktail which had the possible side effect of damaging the heart" says Beverley.

While the chemo worked, Beverley knew how precious life was, so she took her son to Australia and helped prepare a wonderful family Christmas. But it was too good to be true, two days after Christmas she was in a cafe enjoying a coffee, when she found she couldn't breathe. She managed to make it home, but couldn't get her breathing under control. She was sent to hospital where they found she had fluid on the lungs and ended up spending two weeks in hospital with pneumonia. They also discovered that the fifth chemical in her cocktail five months prior had weakened her heart and damaged two valves.

"That was it ... I could no longer live on my own. In three months I lost my health, home and independence" says Beverley. But she knows she is very lucky. In April 2010 she moved in with one of her sons and his family, bringing with her, her cat. At the same time, Beverley was referred to Hospice.

"Like most people, I had no knowledge of what a Hospice did; only that it was a place where people go when they are dying. So when my Doctor told me I was being placed in the care of the North Shore Hospice, I thought that I had only a few months to live, perhaps only weeks. But I have since discovered that Hospice is not for death, it is for life."

What is remarkable though, is when the Hospice Nurse arrived at her home for her initial visit she said to Beverley "I've been here before", and she had. Beverley's family had also cared for her daughter-inlaws terminally ill father, who they brought up from Rotorua in 2009.

"I know this isn't easy for anyone, especially when they have been through it before, but I am so thankful to them". Beverley is also thankful for the Hospice Family Support Team who is able to spend time with the family.
"The lovely Hospice nurses call me regularly to see how I'm going and will come and see me if I, or the family, need them. It is also really reassuring to know that Hospice is at the end of the phone at anytime".

"From day one, Hospice has helped me balance my medications and they regularly check up on me. I also love going to Day Group, or as my family call it 'Nanny Day Care'. I look forward to it. Although most weeks we do not know what has been arranged, we do know that on the first Wednesday of the month the hairdresser will be there, possibly also a podiatrist, and once a month the girls from the local beauty school come and offer manicures and pedicures. All this gives me back a little bit of that independence. I no longer have to ask my family, or anyone else to take me with my wheelchair. To the artists, singers, musicians, to all the other people who give their time and expertise on a Wednesday morning I would like to say thank you" says Beverley.

Beverley finishes by saying "Nowadays I don't bother with scans anymore, what is the point? But I have four wonderful boys and five grandchildren who I treasure. I take advantage of each opportunity that comes by. I look forward to "takeaway Friday" and going shopping with my daughter-in-law who pushes me in my wheelchair. There is still so much to live for".

Carol Herbert