Inspirational Stories

Humour and the Hospice Help Hugely

Ted Jacobs is not letting a brain tumour rob him of his enjoyment of life. With irrepressible humour, a positive attitude and the support of Hospice, family and friends, this seventy-six year old looks back on a full and rich life -and is still living every day to the full.

Born in England, Ted has vivid memories of his teenage years during the Second World War.

‘We were bombed out,’ says Ted. ‘There were no facilities and we lost our house and all of our belongings. My brother and I were evacuated down to Devon. I left school when I was twelve years old because of the war.’

‘I was eighteen when I was conscripted into the war, but I had a fairly good time. I served in the Middle East and was stationed at one stage just above the Pyramids and the Sphinx. I saw a bit of the world and then I came back to England.’

After the war, Ted had his own business as a gent ’s hairdresser. In 1973 he moved to New Zealand for the outdoor lifestyle and warmer climate. A keen cyclist, Ted pursued time trialing for numerous years. He is also a music lover with a collection of more than 1200 LPs. Married for more than twenty years to his second wife Barbara, together the couple have an extended family of three children and five grandchildren. The family has rallied around Ted since his diagnosis of cancer several years ago.

‘I used to walk from Milford to Takapuna and back. Then one day I felt my left foot dragging in the sand and my left arm wasn’t swinging properly. I didn ’t get any better after a couple of days and I thought I ’d had a stroke. So I went to see the doctor and he sent me for a CAT scan. That’s when they found I have a cancerous brain tumour. And then I went for a MRI - I’ve now had three of those -and each time the tumour has got bigger.’

Unfortunately, Ted ’s brain tumour is inoperable. He has since had radiotherapy and is currently doing a new type of chemotherapy in an attempt to keep the cancer in check.

‘I really have no idea how long I have. It is a funny thing, because here I am enjoying myself. I go out shopping and meet friends. I’m going to a film this afternoon. I sit here and there is no pain. I wouldn’t know anything is wrong except I can’t walk much. So it is an eerie feeling. Enjoying life, but knowing there is no way out. I am not going to get better. It’s not like having a stroke or a heart attack where I could possibly recover.’

His GP recommended the Hospice to Ted and he has been actively involved in Day Group ever since, where patients and volunteers meet at the Hospice for a social lunch together.

Humour and the Hospice ‘I look for ward to Day Group. The volunteers are such lovely people. I can’t say enough about them. The support I get from Day Group is wonderful. And you always get a hug and a kiss when you go there. I always like that!’

After having radiotherapy, Ted was prone to bleeding when he shaved, so he decided to grow a beard. The Day Group now tease him about looking like Sean Connery, and even his wife is in on the act.

‘When Barbara comes to pick me up, she asks, “Who is he today, is he Ted or is he Sean? If he is Ted he can stay here!”’ As well as Day Group, Ted has stayed in the Hospice on occasion for respite. He was staying in the new section of Hospice when Rt Hon Helen Clark PM opened the new unit. He enjoyed meeting her and discussing the new Hospice facilities with her.

‘I told her that there is one thing in Hospice that can’t be improved on. She asked what that was and I said it was the standard of service.’

Ted has also had a life review done through the Hospice. A volunteer has interviewed him and has written out a copy of his life. He has given this to his wife and children, and Hospice has a copy too.

‘Mainly it is for people that come along after you and they can read what it was like in past times.’ ‘I had a friend who died when he was sixty-two. He died of a burst aorta - and that was it. I would sooner be like I am now. I know what I ’m doing and I can make arrangements. I can do what I want with my stuff. He had no choice. He had a marvellous collection of LPs and original record players but his wife sold it all for a giveaway price. I’m sure my friend turned in his grave. I’m now sorting out my own collection and what I want to do with it.’

‘And I would sooner be at Hospice when the time comes, than at home. The Hospice staff know what they are doing.’ Ted jokes for a moment that his only regret in life is that he didn’t meet a ‘cracking blonde with a million dollars ’ but then becomes serious.

‘I’ve enjoyed my life. I’ve got no real regrets. The best thing I ever did, apart from bringing two children into the world, was marrying Barbara. I consider myself a lucky man.’

Living each day with a ready chuckle, Ted is a remarkable man. In the face of terminal illness, he chooses to dwell on all the positives in his life. His friends, his family -his music and books. Cancer cannot stop the laughter or the love.

Karen McMillan