Inspirational Stories

Caring for the Dying

When former New Zealand Herald journalist, Bert Nealon, was diagnosed with terminal cancer, his wife Patsy immediately reached for the phone for the Hospice's help.

"I'd known about the hospice for years and I wanted good backup for caring for my husband," said Patsy. Bert had been given two to four months to live, but within a fortnight of discovering that his cancer was now terminal, he died peacefully at home.

"I couldn't have cared for my husband confidently without the hospice's help," said Patsy. "In the early stages you don't know what you are doing, but the hospice took away all the worry and responsibility.

"The hospice had a lot of involvement when Bert was dying. The care was super. I couldn't have faulted any of the nurses - they were just lovely. They came into our home and the standard of care that they provided was excellent. They were kind, considerate, funny and gentle. My husband loved nothing better than being surrounded by them.

"The equipment today is wonderful too. I was nursing in the 1960s and the stuff today is much more superior."The entire family gathered together to be with Bert while he was dying - Patsy, his wife of thirty two years, his four daughters and his grandson. He was surrounded by warmth and laughter during this trying time.

"It was especially great for our grandson," said Patsy. "It was wonderful for a young boy to see the love and the care and his grandfather just gently dying. How many people get to see that? To watch someone die that you love and to know that he has the best of everything is a privilege."

Patsy is a respected North Shore painter and last year organised an exhibition of her art to raise money for the Hospice.

"We raised five thousand dollars in one day. And now I feel that I've got it all back again, which is lovely. However, it shocks me that the hospice has to fundraise to enable it to do its valuable work. It adds so much pressure and stress. I believe more help should be given to respect the life of the dying, because we are all going to die. If you can have loving nursing and pain relief, and you have the family there loving and being with the person who is dying, then its extremely special for everyone. "That's what it's all about."

Patsy is now committed to donating twenty percent of her income from painting to the Hospice.

"It was a strange time but I hope I die like that. It was very sad, but to die in your own home with top-loving hospice care is the ideal. It's much better than some ghastly squashed accident on the road. We all had time to say goodbye and there was no unfinished business. And it made the grieving for us much better. It was very sad, but it was also quite magnificent."