Inspirational Stories

Hospice Help Continues Long After Death

A creative and vibrant woman, Lee Taylor-Smith was only 48 years old when she died of an aggressive brain tumour. The hospice was there to care for her during the last months of her life, and has continued to be involved with helping her husband, Blair, nearly a year on after her death.

‘Lee wasn’t ill for long,’ says Blair. ‘She complained about pain behind her right eye back in March 2004. The optometrist did some tests and then sent her to an eye specialist who did more tests. They couldn’t find anything wrong and the pain went away. But in early July the pain came back. It was a continual pain, nothing like a headache. I noticed Lee was very lethargic and then I found that she was taking about 12 Panadol pills a day, so I suggested she go and see her doctor.’

The doctor sent Lee for a scan, and that is when the couple learnt that Lee had a brain tumour. Surgeons removed the tumour on 25 August and initially everyone was positive. The surgery had been a success and most of the tumour had been removed. All that remained was the results of the pathology report.

‘We went into hospital to have the details of the report given to us. However, I’m not sure if they didn’t get through to us how serious it was, or if we were just taken back by the amount of information. It didn’t really click until a few weeks later when we went to the oncologist that Lee was terminally ill and didn’t have much time. The oncologist said the best case scenario was 18 months, but it could be as little as 4 to 6 months.’

The hospice was involved in helping care for Lee from Labour Weekend onwards.

‘The Hospice nurses were wonderful. I don't know what we would have done without their help. We were lucky that the immediate family pulled together really well, but Lee’s parents are elderly, my parents are elderly – so they could only do so much. The Hospice nurses visited often and were only ever a phone call away. They organised a special hospital bed for us and they also organised home help for a couple of hours each morning. Lee’s mum and home help used to shower Lee in the morning.’

Unfortunately the tumour returned only seven weeks after the operation, and from then on Lee's condition deteriorated so she was admitted to the Hospice In Patient Unit.

‘Hospitals are really noisy and impersonal. Hospice was quite different from this. In Hospice there were always two nurses and I was able to stay there. As much as we could glean from Lee, she liked being in the hospice. And the Hospice explained what was going on with Lee at every stage, which was really helpful. I don’t know what we would have done without the Hospice. They were absolutely wonderful. I don’t know how they do the work that they do. They are very special people. Since Lee has passed away in January 2005 I’ve only been back to the In Patient Unit once and it was very moving.’

Blair has been attending the Family Support Group since March and has found the Hospice support very helpful in dealing with his grief.

‘It is a good group of people that go there. It is really helping me. When Lee passed away, I thought I was the only one going through this, but as part of the group you realise that everyone there is going through what you are. As a group we are starting to socialise a bit. And there is a phone and texting network in place. When people are down other people will text and phone.’

‘In the last few months I have met somebody else. I knew Lee wouldn’t want me to mope around., so I set certain targets - there were things I wanted to achieve after she passed away. I wanted to get my mental state back to a fairly good level. Then I thought it was about time I went out and tried to meet somebody. And I have. It is fantastic – although she hasn’t been through the same situation as I have, but she has been through a marriage break up, which is a stress on its own. She has two kids. So we each talk about what we have been through and what we are going through. I support her and she supports me. I am guessing that Christmas will be a little bit difficult. Having the kids around will be a nice distraction. We have things planned. With them it will be a better Christmas than it would have been otherwise.

Blair remembers Lee for her warmth and creativity and looks back on the seven years that they were married as an incredibly special time.

‘Lee loved the home that we lived in, the peace and quiet, the bush and the birdlife. She was a very creative person and was the manager of Lakehouse Art Centre. She loved art, teaching art and relating to artists. Prior to that she had her own graphic design business, but she was finding the business was becoming more and more computer orientated and she liked doing things with her hands. We were married seven special years. We did a lot in that time. We have seen a lot of this end of the world and we did a trip every year. I miss her very much.’

Karen McMillan