Inspirational Stories

Hospice helps to fulfil last wish

Katie, Tom, Felicity and Eden. Photo taken on the ‘Kestrel’ ferry on the way to Kiri te Kanawa’s concert, January 1994.

In our May Direct Mail we made a reference to Tom Smith and his wife's experience with the North Shore Hospice. Here is Tom's full story...

Fun-loving and artistic, Felicity Smith was a woman who lived life to the full until she was diagnosed with leukaemia in 1989. From then on, she battled bravely with a chronic illness with the help of her husband Tom and their two children. It was only in July 2005 that she was referred to Hospice after living courageously with cancer for so long. Her last wish? To be able to die at home surrounded by the people who loved her. With the help of their two children, Felicity’s sister and Hospice staff, Tom, her husband was able to care for Felicity in their home until she died.

‘She wanted to die at home, so with the help of Hospice I was able to fulfi l her wishes. Without Hospice I wouldn’t have been able to care for her at home. It would have been too hard. It was hard enough anyway, but we coped with Hospice help.’

Referred by the hospital to Hospice, Tom says he was prepared for the work that Hospice does.

‘I’ve known about Hospice for a long time, through Hospice appeals,’ says Tom, who has been a financial supporter of Hospice for years. ‘I’ve got a signage business and over the years I’ve done signs for them also. It helped to have an understanding of the work they did beforehand.’

Tom describes the Hospice help as ‘terrific’.

‘They were extremely helpful. They couldn’t do enough for us. The people were great, the nurses were great – nothing was too much trouble. They lent us equipment like an electric hospital bed; toilet attachments; a wheelchair and other bits and pieces for free. They took time to show me how to do things, how to turn her over in bed and that kind of thing.’

‘Nurses came to help us every day, sometimes even twice a day. They were really good. I never had to phone them in the middle of the night, but they were available 24 hours a day which was good for my peace of mind. We had a couple of nights when a nurse stopped over.

‘They managed to keep her symptoms like pain and nausea completely under control. She was pain free. When she died it was very peaceful, she just slipped away. It was horrible for us that she died, but she didn’t suffer.’

After Felicity died, Tom was offered further support from Hospice.

‘When I was taking the equipment back they wanted to know if I wanted anything, or if there was anything they could do to help. I didn’t choose to take them up on their offers, but it is good to know that there is that additional support for people when they have lost a loved one.’

Felicity died aged 60, a much loved wife and best friend of Tom’s for 40 years. Tom remembers his wife as being artistic and multi-talented. She raised a family and had a variety of different jobs in her lifetime – she worked in a bank, worked in child care, helped Tom with his business and ran a restaurant. He is grateful to the Hospice that he was able to fulfil her last wish - to die peacefully surrounded by her family at home.

Karen McMillan