Inspirational Stories

Hospice Makes Journey Along Side Family.

It has been said many “I am deeply grateful to Hospice for being with us the whole journey – not behind us, not ahead of us – but along side us”

times before and will be again... it is so often a privilege to journey with our patients and their families as they live whilst dying. In the last 12 months, Hospice staff have ‘walked’ with over 500 families on the tough journey they have made with a loved one who has been terminally ill. Major Andrew Kirby and his family was one of them.

A humble Christian gentleman who lived his life serving others, Andrew died peacefully at his daughter Sharon’s home, after a seven-month battle with acute myeloid leukaemia. He was 79 years old. Sharon said it was an honour and a privilege to serve and care for her father while he was terminally ill. She managed to look after him with the help of her family, friends, church members and with the support of Hospice.

‘We are from Zimbabwe and my parents were Salvation Army missionary ministers,’ Sharon told us. ‘I knew of Hospice through my parents’ social work which involved caring for alcoholics, addicts, the lonely, the unloved and the elderly.’

When Sharon’s father was diagnosed, she said he accepted the news with great serenity. ‘He was selfl ess and didn’t think of himself, but rather the impact upon his beloved wife and the family. He quietly put his affairs in order and I can honestly say that the seven-month journey that followed for us as a family was enriching beyond measure.’

At fi rst Sharon went to her parents’ home to help her mum, who is 86, care for Andrew. Eventually her parents moved into her home full time. The whole family pitched in together and shared shifts during fi nal days with Hospice providing help as required. Sharon has nothing but praise for Hospice.

‘The nurses were all, without exception, so compassionate, and they dealt with dad in such a gentle, dignifi ed manner. They always deferred to him and they honoured what he wanted in consultation with us.’ Hospice staff visited Andrew daily and phoned Sharon each morning to check on how both patient and Carer were coping. ‘When they arrived I found we were never rushed. The nurse always made us feel like we were the only family on her schedule that day and that we really mattered. The care was exceptional.’

Sharon said that nothing was ever too much trouble. ‘Hospice took care of every aspect and offered services to cater for all our family’s needs, medical, physical and emotional. Dad’s comfort and pain management was naturally the priority throughout and was managed with expertise. We couldn’t have done it without their fantastic support, their specialised nursing skills and daily encouragement.’

Andrew passed away at home. It was very peaceful and serene.

The family heeded the advice they received about taking time when their father died, so they didn’t rush the process.

‘We were able to sit as a family in the room and spend that time with him and talk as a family. That was most helpful. It was 10.30 on a Sunday morning when he passed away and the undertaker didn’t come until 5pm. It was good advice not to rush things.’

Sharon told us she couldn’t have cared for her father without the support of Hospice. ‘They take you step by step through the process. It was as if each nurse who shared our journey had been hand picked. I saw them as God’s angels. I spoke to some of them about why they do such draining, emotional work, dealing with pain and death on a daily basis, and each of them said that by choice, they wouldn’t do anything else. They see their calling as an honour, as did my father.’

I am deeply grateful to Hospice for being with us the whole journey – not behind us, not ahead of us – but alongside us. I have such high regard for the nurses and the exceptional service offered at a time when we felt vulnerable and circumstances threatened to overwhelm

us. With their support, we were able to honour Dad’s wish with the gift of our home, surrounded by family, as a tranquil resting place during his fi nal weeks.’

Karen McMillan